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Pet peeves concerning people not understanding Goth culture?

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Red_Ink_Cat
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Pet peeves concerning people not understanding Goth culture?

Postby Red_Ink_Cat » Sat Apr 23, 2016 1:26 pm

Latest post of the previous page:

MercurialMe WroteColonQr BbpostAh yes, the unsolicited touching. That reminds me of another Goth pet-peeve of mine. People thinking the way I dress is to attract attention rather than just an expression of my style... much like their own clothing. I once asked a grown woman who walked over and started fondling my clothing & jewelry in a coffee shop how she'd feel if a stranger walked up an did the same to her? She got all indignant and said I clearly dressed the way I did because I wanted attention. I just turned away but I desperately wanted to say isn't that the same excuse rapists use? How someone looks is no excuse to invade their personal space without permission. :evil:

Mad props for being polite! I wanted to punch something just reading that. :? Tell the truth, I am quite happy no one has done that to me yet, because I am relatively certain either I or Husband would end up getting charged with assault for it...

Otherwise, I totally agree with you. I don't understand why people cannot get it through their thick skulls that the world does not revolve around them and that, no, everyone out on the street did not dress the way they did for your attention/amusement.

Just met a new pet peeve personified: intolerance. Adults will be wierded out by things, but actively teaching your kids to be bullies? Just... just no. Driving around the cultural district of the city and shouting insults at who you percieve to be "wierdos" with your child is not ok.
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Pet peeves concerning people not understanding Goth culture?

Postby DaxWills » Sat Apr 23, 2016 4:32 pm

MercurialMe WroteColonQr Bbpost
DaxWills WroteColonQr Bbpost My clothing/appearance may make me look different but that is not an invetation to invade my personal space or touch me. So annoying.
Ah yes, the unsolicited touching. That reminds me of another Goth pet-peeve of mine. People thinking the way I dress is to attract attention rather than just an expression of my style... much like their own clothing. I once asked a grown woman who walked over and started fondling my clothing & jewelry in a coffee shop how she'd feel if a stranger walked up an did the same to her? She got all indignant and said I clearly dressed the way I did because I wanted attention. I just turned away but I desperately wanted to say isn't that the same excuse rapists use? How someone looks is no excuse to invade their personal space without permission. :evil:


By that woman's "logic" grabbing fake breasts should be allowed because obviously you wanted people to notice them. What that's idiotic? No kidding and so is thinking you can "pet" my tattoos.
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Pet peeves concerning people not understanding Goth culture?

Postby Weaxzezz » Wed May 04, 2016 2:06 am

People who seem to feel that I am only goth because I don't understand how to be [insert whatever they think I should be]. A lot of negative comments hidden in "well-meaning advice", such as "I think you'll find if you use less heavy eye-makeup your bone structure will pop out more" or "you really have more of a olive tone, so using a darker foundation would be good" or "if you're never in the sun you're going to get vitamin d deficiency" and so on ad infinitum :roll: I know what I'm doing, I made a choice to look this way and however sweet and polite you put it what you're really saying is that I don't live up to your standards of beauty and fuck that!
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Pet peeves concerning people not understanding Goth culture?

Postby Red_Ink_Cat » Thu May 12, 2016 7:44 pm

Weaxzezz WroteColonQr Bbpost People who seem to feel that I am only goth because I don't understand how to be [insert whatever they think I should be]. A lot of negative comments hidden in "well-meaning advice", such as "I think you'll find if you use less heavy eye-makeup your bone structure will pop out more" or "you really have more of a olive tone, so using a darker foundation would be good" or "if you're never in the sun you're going to get vitamin d deficiency" and so on ad infinitum :roll: I know what I'm doing, I made a choice to look this way and however sweet and polite you put it what you're really saying is that I don't live up to your standards of beauty and fuck that!

Lol, yes! So agree.

I had some lady get me talking a while ago about my plans to dye my hair black, and her response was "but that will make you look so pale and horrid! You should dye it dark red like mine!" :lol: oh, wait, could you not tell from how white-as-paper I am in the summer that I both want to look pale and hate the sun?

I also have to admit that unsolicited fashion advice has gotten a lot more annoying than I remember it being, although mainstream people mislabelling me as steam punk has been making my day lately. To be fair, the lady was in her 60's, so her just knowing that steam punk existed and was at least somewhat like what I was dressed was kind of impressive.
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Pet peeves concerning people not understanding Goth culture?

Postby Weaxzezz » Fri May 13, 2016 12:22 am

Red_Ink_Cat WroteColonQr Bbpost
Weaxzezz WroteColonQr Bbpost People who seem to feel that I am only goth because I don't understand how to be [insert whatever they think I should be]. A lot of negative comments hidden in "well-meaning advice", such as "I think you'll find if you use less heavy eye-makeup your bone structure will pop out more" or "you really have more of a olive tone, so using a darker foundation would be good" or "if you're never in the sun you're going to get vitamin d deficiency" and so on ad infinitum :roll: I know what I'm doing, I made a choice to look this way and however sweet and polite you put it what you're really saying is that I don't live up to your standards of beauty and fuck that!

Lol, yes! So agree.

I had some lady get me talking a while ago about my plans to dye my hair black, and her response was "but that will make you look so pale and horrid! You should dye it dark red like mine!" :lol: oh, wait, could you not tell from how white-as-paper I am in the summer that I both want to look pale and hate the sun?

I also have to admit that unsolicited fashion advice has gotten a lot more annoying than I remember it being, although mainstream people mislabelling me as steam punk has been making my day lately. To be fair, the lady was in her 60's, so her just knowing that steam punk existed and was at least somewhat like what I was dressed was kind of impressive.

I think a lot of people who aren't that informed (especially older people) like to latch on to what little they know and then just assume you are that. I.e. lady had seen some article/clip on steampunk and then felt good that she "knew" what you were. I find it kind of cute when they at least try :D

On that note, I think my mum is finally starting to get it. After ten years. I don't know if she has just learnt from experience how I think and feel about my way of life, or if she has actually gotten more accepting. Perhaps it's partly me too, becoming more confident and taking her criticism less to heart.

Taking all criticism less to heart actually. People comment, look and even take photos (without asking, rude!) but nowadays I just feel "meh" about it.
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Pet peeves concerning people not understanding Goth culture?

Postby SapphireDreams » Sun May 22, 2016 2:12 pm

The one that bugs me every single time I read a newspaper article about Goth, that it's a 'middle class' subculture! Just why do they draw that conclusion? Do they think all working class kids are chavs? That they don't have intelligence? It sets my teeth on edge and smacks of snobbery. I've managed to be a Goth on low income for well over a decade now, it's not something that needs to be expensive. :evil:
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Pet peeves concerning people not understanding Goth culture?

Postby DaxWills » Sun May 22, 2016 2:36 pm

Now in all fairness, if you were researching a article on goth culture online and looked at the online stores, you'd definitely get the impression it's very expensive. Which it can be, it doesn't have to be, but a lot of the designer clothing comes with big price tags. So at least that misconception I can understand.
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Pet peeves concerning people not understanding Goth culture?

Postby Weaxzezz » Mon May 23, 2016 8:00 am

I think they would be more correct in saying that the origins are in the European middle class, but it has been a very diverse culture for decades now. Everything from upper class to lower class. Not classless, but spanning all classes.
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Pet peeves concerning people not understanding Goth culture?

Postby Vanthos » Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:40 am

Chiming in on this a bit late. I've always thought that goth culture came primarily from the lower classes, but that of course anybody can join and be of the same status as goths without regard to being a poor goth or rich goth or whatever. The thing which can make goth expensive, I suppose, is that we really care a great deal about our clothes, accessories, and items. We really enjoy handcrafted things and thrifted treasures. Some might consider it expensive to buy one pair of boots or a corset that costs so much, or a band t-shirt that costs more than a regular t-shirt. But we treasure these things and take care of them. We re-dye them black and mend them and do other DIY things when they begin to fall apart. That really expensive item that the "snobby" goth buys will last for centuries.

Mainstreamers, on the other hand, probably spend a LOT more on clothes overall if they want to remain trendy or fashionable. And these clothes wlll fade, fall apart, and go out of style. So off they go to Forever 21 or Target (I buy clothes from these stores too, btw, I'm simply a lot more picky when it comes to color schemes and how it fits to my body i.e. no baggy clothes). As for accessories? I had some work friends of mine ask if I planned to buy one of those Fitbit watches that I know nothing about. The kind that sync to your smartphone and you can control stuff in your house with it. They must have spent hundreds each on those things, but one of them just months ago talked about how he could never spend the way I do on my bracelets and rings (these cost from $30-60 each and I acquired them over years, not all at once in a blind purchase in a hipster-filled T-Mobile store). I'm happy with my simple smartphone and don't need a bunch of technological misery tokens. My money is for art, literature (real books), and music.

In short? Goths are rather antiquarian (sp?) and spend their money on things that last and won't just blend in to the rest of modern society. It probably comes both from being poor (as I was and maybe still am) and having to be creative and thrifty or being middle class or rich but having different tastes. I think the much more complicated study would be one of why mainstream people love to dump tons of money on tasteless clothes that fall apart in months (I hate how everyone around me wears badly colored yoga pants, sweatpant outfits with gold necklaces, pajama shorts and smelly/wrinkled t-shirts, sagging jeans, etc.).
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Pet peeves concerning people not understanding Goth culture?

Postby SpiffyPumpkin » Sat Oct 21, 2017 12:55 pm

I recently had a discussion with a fellow that I used to have a crush on, who I'm kinda friends with now (more on that below), he kept saying that he doesn't recall a time he saw me wearing anything he would deem professional, and I said to him, "What is this now, am I supposed to wear khaki's and polo shirts for when we hang out? We're friend's and this is a school day, so I feel like I should wear what I like and this is what I like." (I'm in college by the way.)

Granted he doesn't "get" fashion at all, least of all Gothic fashion, which I suppose is why our friendship mostly involves me hanging out with him and listening, rather than telling him what I'm up to, because he just wouldn't get it. I spend whatever free time I get drawing spooky clothing designs in my sketchbooks, making things that fit my aesthetic, and generally doing other things I know he wouldn't understand, it's a one-way friendship and every time he starts to ask me about myself I kinda shut down because I know from previous experiences that he doesn't understand, every time I show him what I've been working on he acts like it's childish or too weird/dark for anyone to want to buy it (I want to become a professional artist of sorts someday, in addition to a regular day job, of course). I've tried to tell him he's not really a part of the audience I would be trying to catch, but even that seems beyond him, since I'm the only spooky sort he knows I guess he thinks there are not enough of them for that to be a target audience, or that regular people would never buy art like mine (not true at all, all my previous customers last year were "normal" people). Yet, he keeps wanting to hang out and talk to me....it's a weird social practice I guess. Just wanted to talk about it, it's been more frustrating for me than usual lately. ^_^"
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