Okay so I have a problem, I managed to convince my mom to let me pierce my nose and I got it done in June. It is still healing and so I can't put in new jewelry yet but I want to wear a nose ring on the first day of school. The reason my mom let my get my nose pierced was that nose studs don't really scream: "I'M WEIRD AND I HAVE PIERCINGS!" but nose rings do. When I ask her why I can't have one she says it's because she doesn't like them (probably because of what I stated in the previous sentence). The thing is though I AM weird and I DO have piercings. I really just want to be myself. Do you agree with my mom? If you do please tell me why. If you don't then please give me some ideas about how I can convince her to let me get a nose ring.

Though I do not agree with your mother, I personally, would do as she wishes while you live in her home. I know you could do it behind her back, but that, being a parent myself, seems so wrong to me. Then again, also as a parent, I would rather my child do it with my knowledge and consent then feel forced to lie about it and do it anyway.

I'm not sure what advice I could give you on talking to your mother, other than being open and honest. Perhaps be logical as well, maybe show her some statistics on nose piercings and the teenage populace...I assume it is higher than people think.

Sorry I could not be of more help.


You coul

*quickly googles teen piercing statistics* Well I don't see anything particularly for nose piercings but I see one site that says over 50 percent of people ages 12-18 have piercings other than on their earlobes. Also MANY people at my school have piercings but last time I brought up how many of my friends had piercings she brought up the whole: "If all your friends were jumping off a cliff..."

Well... that depends on how high the cliff how, as well as if there was water below and how deep...

Yeah, I'm not really sure what to tell you. Maybe the more responsibility you seem to possess with the stud, she may, in time, let you go for the hoop. I do not know your mother, so its hard for me to say. The best I can do is to talk to her (often) about it, maybe bring up how it hurts that she doesn't trust you with it (if that be the case) etc...

I still stand by what I said about not doing it behind her back, though I doubt such words matter- espeically from a person who got a tattoo behind by grandmothers back and didn't tell her until well after I turned eighteen. It is a shame your mother isn't as open as she cold be, but hell- at least she let you get the piercing.

Stepping stones, before milestones (yes I made that up and am aware it probably makes no sense).

You could pick up a pack of nose studs with a ring in it. I bought my friend one for her birthday, it had 1 or 2 nose studs, and a ring. Show your mom the pack of studs, put the ring in with her there, and ask her how she thinks it looks. If she doesn't like it, then don't wear it while you live in her house. Who knows? She may decide it suits you, since the rings I'm referring to are less obvious than others (Captive Ball Rings are thicker, and have the ball to hold the ring in, so they're probably the type your mother would detest).

It's worth a shot, right?

That is a fantastic idea, Arc!

It really makes my blood boil when I read about parents dictating anyhting about a 'child's appearance.

Personally, I'd put the ring in and to hell what my Mum thought- yeah, you might have an argument about it- but I'd still do it, but thats just me.

My opinion is that I was a good kid, got good grades, did'nt get in trouble (sure, I drank, had bfs sleep over, and did drugs young- but that was with my parents knowledge- and it never affected my life adversely)- so whatever i wanted to do with my body and clothes was MY business and not thiers. They knew it was a battle they would lose anyway- but honestly my Mum was very supportive.

My advise is do whatever you have to do.

Your best bet is to respectfully but directly ask her for one. Tell her that it means a lot to you and that you would like to get one.

Then, hear her concerns out using active listening (you can google it and hopefully find some useful examples). Essentially, you want to listen to her carefully and show you you understand her point of view. Do not argue with her. Just listen. She will then feel heard and understood and more interested in granting you your wish because you "get it". If she still says "no" then I would let it go. If she says "do you still want one" after trying to convince you not to get one, be honest with her.

Whatever you do, do not push her. She will push back in the form of not letting you wear a nose ring.

I wouldn't fuss, there's plenty of time to get the ring if the hole doesn't close. My mum thought I'd grow out of this 'phase', but almost ten years on...

Don't change jewellery or mess with it while it's still healing. Just some salt water or cleaning solution if it gets crusty.

Oh yeah, and the piercing can heal over quite fast. I don't know if this is usual, but my friend lost her stud at the club and it apparently healed up (or was at least too small to reinsert) in 20 hours.

ETA. Should Mum or a teacher ever make you take it out; models have actually kept theirs open invisibly during shoots, with a fine tooth snapped off a plastic comb and threaded through where the stud was.

That's when you say "But I am not asking for YOU to get one."

Then if that doesn't work; every time you see your mother in something you yourself wouldn't ever want to wear: Tell her to get changed into something else. When she asks why, say "Because I don't like them."

But I don't know if that type of a response would infuriate your mom. It would have been fine for me growing up as long as I had said it as a normal tongue in cheek way of making a point. If I had used a bad tone though it would have gotten me in trouble quickly.

I know about all the cleaning stuff And I HAVE been tempted to say: "If you didn't like pink would you not let me buy anything pink?" but my mom gets mad pretty easily. I'm fairly certain that my mom doesn't want me to wear nose rings because she doesn't like goths. I have only recently started showing my gothiness and in one conversation my mom said: "You really are goth, aren't you?" and when I told her yes she said "Well you know I hate the whole "I hate life and I'm so gothic" thing." I tried to explain to her that goths aren't usually depressed and that dressing the way we do is just what makes us happy. Also I am the complete opposite of that depressed stereotype because I am a PERKY goth. I once walked into a high-quality Halloween store and said: "Skulls, bats, coffins, AWESOME!" and then literally skipped to the makeup section. I will try what ArcAngel suggested though and perhaps she'll change her mind

let me know if you manage to convince your mother
Im having similar problems with mine, i want a damned lip piercing, lol
ps. if you do, let me know how! sounds like our mother are very similar, only mine's a religious nut

I want a lip piercing too! Then again I want a lot of piercings, lip, eyebrow, belly button, tongue, piercings all the way up my ears, etc. My mom's rules are I can have one nose piercing (which I now have) but I'm not allowed to wear rings in it, I can pierce my ears as many times as I want just not on the very upper cartilage parts because she says if they get infected they'd have to cut off my entire ear (which I do not believe), and when I'm 16 I can pierce my belly button.

From experience, I can tell you that eyebrow piercings are hard as hell to maintain and migrate out very easily. I have a cross done to my eyebrow and I loved it (three balls above the brow, one in the middle below). Both the piercings came out. I waited and got them redone. They came out again. So I finally got four Mircodermals (implants piercings). Even one of those started coming out and the piercer had to cut it out. Now I have three and they still get very temperamental. Of course- I have children and I get head butted a lot so..yeah. Just a warning.

I turn 21 in 9 more days, He doesn't care if I get Tattoos, Piercings, etc. Just as long as I go to college (which I plan on doing soon) And I help him around the house. He's 66 and he's disabled. So I take care of him.