*Friggle froggle froogle doggle*

You find yourself in a hot bath. Unfortunately, the water is boiling, you're surrounded by vegetables, the "tub" seems to be in the middle of Amazonian jungle, and the natives look very hungry.

I wish I was in Florida.

Da-ding! You are now in Florida... right after someone dropped an atomic bomb there. Because you're the only one alive in the whole state, everyone thinks you're either the devil in person or a terrorist who dropped the bomb. Welcome to Death Row.

I want to have toothpicks.

Tingle Tingle Kooloo Limpah!

You now have many, many toothpicks sticking out of you, causing great agony.

I wish I had a giant pumpkin pie!

bang-splat-crash-plop!
Your entire family is baked into your very own, BRAND NEW, *GiANt PuMpKIN PiE!!!*

I wish I had an "easy-bake-oven"

-edit-I spelt pumpkin wrong-

congradulations, you are now the proud owner of an "easy-bake-oven", which the jerk who lives next door deposited on your front porch because it no longer works.

I wish I had my ears back

Zerash-Guhlina
Slowly your ears are growing back out. Such a shame that they're made out of your brain, as the genie needed something to make them of. You now have half a brain, and are a half-witted moron.

I wish I had the ability to affect peoples feelings towards me the way I see fit. (Of course also the ability to do this at will, not uncontrollably)

(Smoke bomb)
You can now affect people's feelings towards you the way you see fit. Problem is when the power is not affecting them(you must concentrate to make the power work), they develop a deep, violent hatred of you.

I wish my Dad would pay me any money he owes me.

Boinky! Your dad has paid you all the money he owed you... in Monopoly cash.

I wish I had a tv.

Abrakcadaver
You now have a TV, but what's that good for when you only have no channels?

I wish I famous and respected in a positive way.

Thou art now the most famous, popular, and respected... dead man on the planet

I wish I had my brain back....

Shaziiii! You now have your brain back. It's two times bigger than your head though, and you had to have your cranium removed to fit it in. You now have a large glass bulb on your head, and a frighteningly large, pulsating, slimy -and growing- brain underneath it.

I wish someone would take these toothpicks out of my skin...

Riiiiiiiiip, [distant screaming noises]
The genie has removed the toothpicks.
Though you still resemble a pin-cushin. But didn't he take them out?
Oh, of course he did, how else would you explain the skin in his hand?

I wish I was ultra-flexible.

*Kafloofers!* You are now the most flexible being on earth, but you kind of look like a giant slinky... and people seem to like pushing you down the stairs, just like the little metal versions...

I wish I had the power to hear people's thoughts

*unenthusiastic plunk...*
You now have the power to hear other people's thoughts; everyone in the world's thoughts at the same time. In fact, you even hear the noises everyone else is hearing. Of course, you have no way to turn this ability off, and you quickly go insane from the massive headache that results.

I wish my head and brain were back to normal

*Griggle groggle groogle foggle*

Wish granted. Your head and brain are normal... for a one year old. As such, people look at you funny because you have an unusually small head for your body, and you really don't have the ability to function beyond the limitations of infancy.

I wish all my Christmas preparations were finished.