I`m quiet and taciturn by nature. I`ve come across several people who have an issue with this. The people who react negatively to my quietness (including one who banned from their home because I`m quiet), tend to be people who are too "yakky."

Like if you`re sitting there trying to read a book, create an art piece or watch a movie or even do something for work, someone comes along and just starts talking. A quick conversation usually isn`t a big deal, but if I`m engrossed with something requiring my attention, I generally don`t want to be bothered so I can concentrate on it. It would seem that there`s a lot of people don`t get that. When you ask to be left be so you can work on what you`re doing, the chatty person either keeps going or takes offense and reacts as if you told them you were going to fuck their mother. The heck???

Just because I want peace so I can concentrate on what I`m doing doesn`t mean I hate the person. I just want peace so I can get things done or enjoy something. Is it not ok for me, a quiet person, to desire a quiet environment now and then? To have a break from all the commotion and chaos? Shouldn`t respect for my quiet equate to the respect they want for their noisiness?

Anyone else has an issue with people who just won`t stop talking?

Oh, I'd probably BE the "yakky" person that came up to you and started talking while you were reading or something.

But if I see that someone is trying to read or is currently doing something, I would leave them alone.

Yes, I've known people like that...hell its some of the reason I'm currently in the process of a divorce. I think there are times to talk and times to be silence, and it's wise to know when to shut your mouth and bite your tongue. I don't want anyone talking to me if I'm reading or working. It's bothersome. I also cannot stand people who talk and never say a thing. It's incessant and it soon becomes tedious. I'm a quiet person generally.

I love good conversation, mind you, but I'm not one to sit back and never shut up either. I enjoy silence and I often think as much can be said without words as with them. Now, if one talks too much it's not enough to make me hate the person (that's too strong a word and I don't like to use it), but I do get quite easily vexed with the person and it can show if it happens too many times.

Yeah, I went through that last night. My brother-in-law was at our house talking to my husband and me, and he just went on and on without saying anything. I didn't hear half of what he said, because I kept wishing he'd leave so I could sit down with a book of vampire stories and a bowl of popcorn.

I must be a terrible person to feel that way; but after a long busy week, I just want to sit down and RELAX. As it is, I have to wear earplugs while reading, because the spousal unit usually has the TV on.

Exactly, you want to relax and the chatty person doesn`t seem to understand that and they often get upset about it, seeming lacking consideration for you.

I tried sticking my head in headphones to block everyone out but it seems counterproductive and they often get more bothersome as they poke and prod you physically to get your attention so they can talk more. I tried moving to other rooms of the house but they follow and continue talking. Argh...

^^Are these strangers trying to talk to you? Because if they don't know you and they're trying to bother you...that's just weird.

Nah these are people in my life like boyfriend, his father (we live with his dad to help him with his health) and boyfriend`s friends. Every single one of them are nonstop-chatty and don`t understand that I need peace sometimes. One of his friends` fiancee was the one that banned me from their house for being quiet.

Tell them that there are different types of people in this world such as extroverts and introverts. Tell them that you are an introvert and as such your recuperation and relaxation time requires peace and solitude for you to function properly. If they don't believe them, tell them to look up the type.

Many people think that extrovert simply means the person likes to be social and introvert means the person like solitude, its more than that, so much more. It is the way we gain and lose energy.

Extroverts feel most alive and gain energy and 'recuperate' through social interaction. Solitude can be draining and even torturous to an extrovert. However, this is opposite in an introvert. An introvert doesn't just want solitude- we NEED solitude to function properly. Society tends to drain us of our energy and we need the peace and alone time to re-energize from society.

Normally really chatty, really socially inclined people tend to be extroverts- and you can't really blame them for their method of recharging, but at the same time they need to be mindful of your own need to charge back up, so you'll need to find a balance.

I could never find that balance. For me, I know Thursdays are hell. I'm with my kids and my dad all the time, but then on Thursdays I also have class. By the time class is over, I always have a pounding headache from too much social interaction, so carving time out for myself is essential to my health. When my ex lived with us it was torture because he was an extrovert and he never understood (and didn't care to understand) my need for solitude, no matter how often I tried to explain and it caused problems for me.

The basics of this post is this: Tell them to back to fuck up and give you room to breathe.

I am an introverted person, and I used to be very quiet. This doesn't work well in a loud, demanding family so I learned to speak up even it was just "YO PASS THE SALT WOULD YOU?!" I can be quite talkative when I need to, but it's definitely not something I prefer. My almost-husband is very social and very chatty. One of our only issues is the fact that he doesn't seem to grasp how almost painful social situations and large groups of people are for me. Unlike him, I don't want to see people everyday, and I really have to strive to be chatty and friendly. granted, he's getting much better about it and has really grown to love our "lazy nights" where we just do nothing and spend some time alone without much chatter between us. I would much prefer being alone to dealing with people, which is why my job in the basement of the museum is a dream. Nobody really down there but dead things and books. And those don't usually talk.

wow its amazing that someone shares the exact opinon as me :] and your job sounds peaceful and fun yet kind of creepy

^^And creepy is always good.

I have the problem of yakky people on IM or whatsapp...I have a friend who will message me all day, about absolute rubbish (what he's eating, he saw a bird flying in the sky, something his cat did) and though I often outright ignore him, he happily talks to himself all day on my whatsapp. I'm starting to believe I am not the one with impaired social skills.

It really depends on my mood and the situation at the time, or just the topic being discussed.
Generally I'm fairly quiet, at least were conversation is concerned, preferring to listen than actively participate in the discussion going on, however, should the conversation turn to music (regardless of genre), and I light up and will talk the ears off anyone for hours and hours on end any time of day or night.

It doesn't bother me that much should someone be insisting on chatting to me when I don't feel like it, because everyone that would do that, knows me, and they aren't expecting a lively to and fro exchange from me, infact sometimes I wonder if they even care wether I'm even listening at all or just want to hear their thoughts out loud...

Yeah, sometimes I feel like a sounding-board for other people.

Do you ever appear to be listening intently, only to have your thoughts on something that interests you? I feel sort of guilty when I do, but I guess it's better than my eyes glazing over and nodding off to sleep; and I've gotten a reputation as a "good listener".

From a librarian's perspective, sometimes yakky people need a good "Shhhhh!" Don't even get me started on cell phone use in public places.

-- Nephele