It seems to be one of those issues where people who aren't involved at all make things worse without even realising it. Back when I straightened my hair I would aim to get it looking natural.... it would still be a little wavy, just not the ringlets I have naturally. And I used to get comments about how I must have had it done chemically and I should really straighten it every morning on top of that because they didn't do a very good job. Anyone who had the slightest wave would be getting up early to straighten it.... all the people that I was so jealous of because their hair was straight hated it because they saw it as too curly. Magazines were printing straightening tips, adverts for expensive straighteners, and raving about how lucky certain celebrities were because their hair grew dead straight without them having to do anything. So..... if society is telling you that even a slight wave is unacceptable, how does that feel to someone with an afro? And then you add in the whole 'white beauty' thing..... it's like what I found only to a greater degree. I just wanted my hair to look like theirs did naturally, but they were obsessed with getting theirs even straighter and so I had further to go to look like them. I know passing trends aren't the root of this problem but they definitely compound it. (I've also noticed that adverts for straighteners or hair products that helf with straightening tend to feature african american women rather prominently.... definitely the target market.)

Yep, and I don't think using black women in hair straightening ads is helping these little girls growing up right now feel beautiful with their natural hair.

Yeah. More Chaka Khan's; less Beyonce's.

Now that's an interesting thing you brought up Aya. I never knew that having even slightly wavy hair was shunned in some places. I look at pictures of decades and centuries past, when it was stylish to have Shirly Temple styled hair and bouncy curls like Marilyn Monroe, but I never thought that people with a straight hair root/shaft but having a curl to it would still have a preference for super straight hair. I admit that I would be one of the people who don't know about a certain something and only make a certain issue worse, so I apologize.

It's true. People have seriously asked me why I don't straighten my slightly wavy hair, as if not doing so isn't normal.

I don't have many pictures (it was a long time ago) but I'd aim to get mine to this point : http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs049.snc1/4448_1097702176587_1647613874_228568_4629847_n.jpg
.... and then get told that it didn't count as straight.

It also seems that every depiction (or at least most) of black women who are supposed to be beautiful have long straight hair. A lot of black females I've seen also have difficulty growing out their hair without braids or constant care and chemicals. IT's the little things like this that really hurt people over the years. When my hair is taken out of braids (which are extensions themselves) my self esteem drops exponentally. Sure I can look my self in the face for a week or so, but after that I can't look at my self without negative thoughts. All pertaining to my hair. And I'm just one person. Imagne how others with this sort of problem must feel. It's a shame that so many people's confidence relies on what's on their heads, but It's just one of those things.

I know natural hair is not something that should have to go in and out of fashion, but it would really help if it came back in..... cos what needs to happen is that kids grow up without getting the message that natural is bad.

What little girls of all races need to be learning is that they are beautiful before they put products in their hair or makeup on their skin. This is what parents need to be teaching kids. I don't mean just telling them "Honey, you know you're already beautiful. I'm not buying this for you."* Have a freaking conversation and get to the root of the problem!

*This is what I was always told growing up, I never did believe it. I just figured that because we were poor my mom was being a skin flint.

Its not just the hair and makeup either, sadly. If it only went that far, it could be easily remedied. There is a "standardized" beautiful that everyone should live up to...regardless of your genes or ethnicity. This standard of beauty kicks the age-old saying, "Beauty is only skin deep", to the curb, since it also requires you to have a bone structure perceived as "perfect" to be beautiful as well. While I wasn't there for it, I would say that ads made this switch when super models were no longer real women, but cadavers. Then again, I could easily be wrong.

While looking up ultra cool makeup tutorials on Youtube, I saw an ad for a new Garnier Fructis product that will supposedly make curly "frizzy" hair into straight "sleek" hair for seven washes (here's the link). Not mentioning race - since this disscussion is beyond that now - it sent a bad message to me, because the video showed the girl being unhappy with curly hair at first, but the end result with straight locks showed her as very happy. So the ad precieves that anybody with curly hair is inheritantly unhappy with their locks.

Actually, there are two girls in the ad. It pisses me off even further because the second girl - the one who got her glorious sleek hair CHEMICALLY ALTERED to be that way - actually said how sorry she felt for the girl with poofy curly hair, and in her charity, gave her "friend" the product too. You know, my ma always told me to stay away from people who try to change your appearence?

And of course I'm going to say that the girl looked very lovely with big, curly hair to me.

I think she looked very pretty as well. but it would have helped if she didn't look so damn despairing because of her hair when it was pretty.

That's a horrible ad! Call me crazy, but ever since I was little I thought that curly hair was actually more pretty than staright hair. Maybe it's all those books I used to read where the princesses were described with 'curls' instead of hair? "Firey curls, Raven tresses, Golden waves" I don't remember ever reading about princesse or faerie queens with stick straight hair.

Waterhouse

da Vinci

Venus:

One

Two

Three

Four

Theda Bara

This is why herd mentality is bad for you. No single thing is right for everybody and it's stupid to push it! And it's encouraged in the media to sell tools and appliances.


And this is why being a goth is great. Because if shallow conformist standards of appearance are being pushed on you - you tell em where to step off

(Unfortunately I'm starting to notice the rise of similar in the goth scene, but that's another topic.)

Quoted for truth.

I hope that natural characteristics (not only hair) do not become a new fashion to follow, but will be universally accepted by everyone. If that takes a fashion first, okay, but I'd be disappointed if white girls would try to have afros or something like that. That wouldn't be good, as that would only shift the problem.

I think "natural" black hair is beautiful. It is certainly prettier to me than the fake blonde or red they do, no offense meant. I think a gal with a fro is prettier than a ho with a blonde weave. I say go for it, Carpy.

I never get comments on whether I straighten my hair or not (naturally curly over here) but I get griped at for changing my hair color. I'll always be strawberry blonde, so eventually my hair will be back to that, but my family and friends just don't get it. They keep saying I "ruined" my hair. *sigh*