Re: How Goths Answer Stupid Questions
"Why do you wear black all the time and paint your nails black? Are you a goth?"
"There's more to being goth than wearing black. I happen to be wearing black because I'm mourning the death of intelligent inquiry."
Nah, I don't really say that to people. Because the ones who are most likely to ask me why I dress in black are generally children at my library (who wouldn't even think to ask the "goth" part). In which case I would just smile and say: "I like black!"
that would be the best answer EVER!
Okay here are some questions I have been asked and things I would have liked to have said: Codes- S=Situation; Q=Question; IA=Imagined Answer; AA=Actual Answer
S: At Books-A-Million, walking through the books
Q: You look nice. Did you just get married?
IA: Yepp, and I am here at Books-A-Million getting books in case all those toys I got at the sex shop fail to make martial sex more interesting than pre-martial sex.
AA: No, I didn't.
S: Books-A-Million looking at Wiccan books; Snotty little pre-teen with a camera sees me and starts talking and trying to take pictures with his buddy like he's something special.
*I hear them talking about me. I hear the taking of a picture. I turn toward the boy and he hides the camrea quickly*
Me: I'm not stupid. I can and hear you.
Boy: I'm not doing anything.
Me: Then you can do nothing somewhere else.
Q: Are you some kind of gothic witchy freak person?
IA: Are you some bratty little kid with no manners?
AA: I'm not answering disrespectful questions from little bratty kids. Now stop taking pictures of me and go away.
Boy: What, I'm just curious.
Me: you're being rude and you need some manners. Where are your parents at anyway?
Boy: That's none of you business. So,
Q: Are you in some kind of magic act or something?
IA: If I were I'd have made your dumb-ass disappear.
AA: No, I'm not. Thank you so much for interrupting my day. I'm going to another isle now. If you follow or keep harassing me, I'm getting security.
S: St. Augustine; walking down St. George Street.
Q: Are you part of the ghost tour?
IA: Yes and for 15 bucks I'll give you a private tour of the Old Fort (What? I know enough.)
AA: No, I'm not, but that would be awesome.
Q: Are you a Vampire?
IA: Don't you follow the madness of modern media? I can't possibly be a vampire. Instead of being dark creatures, they sparkle now. Do I look sparkly to you?
AA: No, I'm not.
Q: Are you Goth?
AA: Yes, I am.
(Can't think of a good enough IA for this one yet.)
Q: You're all dressed up. What's the occasion?
IA: I finally lost my sanity and decided to celebrate.
AA: I always dress like this.
Q: Aren't you hot?
IA: Nope. Turns out I'm cold-blooded, I need these clothes to stay alive.
Q: Aren't you cold?
IA: Nope. That last pint of human blood I had in the parking lot warmed me right up.
AA: No, I'm not.
Q: Why do you dress like that?
IA: Because this is the shit that was in my closet...wait? Fuck! This wasn't in my closet! How the hell... *Walks away confused and belligerent"
AA: Because I like it.
And this is all I can think of right now.
And I agree with Blackie. It's best to be nice- on the outside. Inside I have a shitload of thing I could say but never do.