Some of us ( I dare say most of us) have been asked the question "Are you Goth" or something or other about how you dress, etc...

When people ask you obviously stupid questions (about being Goth, or something related to Goth), how do you tend to respond?

The worst question my partner and I usually get is, "What's the difference between emo and goth?" AAAARRGH!!!

It infuriates me, so I came up with a nice easy reply:

"If you call an emo an emo, chances are they'll scream out 'I'm not an emo!' and run off and go cry in a corner. If you call a goth an emo, they'll either kick your ass or laugh at you for being an idiot."

Its a poorly inadequate explanation, but it works nicely for the idiots that ask the questions.

Ok, since I always wear black people call me a goth (even though according to my musical tastes I would rather go for eclectic or metalhead) and usual question is:

"Are you a satanist?"

to which follows: "I'd rather call me a spiderman fan"

I mean, I might have done a little bit of confusion, but I think noone has ever seen me sacrificing goats or biting bats... o.O ...especially since I wouldn't do such things even to a plush o.o ... sounds like it wasn't possible to wear black and respect life...

"Aren't you hot in all that clothing and/or black?"

"...Well no, as I am standing here in the shade/indoors."

Or, if you're feeling particularly snarky/nasty

"Do you think I'd be wearing this if I was worried about being hot?"

Or, for coats

"No, I've found not having direct sunlight on my skin for half an hour is a bit cooler."
(This is a leather duster we're talking about here folks but it can apply to any loose coat.)

"Aren't you a little old for all of that Gothic stuff?"

I would think you'd be realizing as you get older such morbid subjects only get inevitably closer to you in a more personal manner!

But really, a good reply I think is something along the lines of "I was not aware black clothing and music were for teenagers only."

You could also perhaps say "Why? Are you insinuating that everyone who wears black and likes morbid things must be immature or a youth?"


More perhaps later.

workshop: think together of good answers.

@ Rilvor: I like your answers, do you mind if I brainstorm with you a little bit?



"Oh, now that you make me notice, I was wondering who switched on the heater"



"Oh my God! I forgot my walking-stick!!! Will I ever be able to get back home now?"

I try to take a leaf out of the Lady of the Manner's book (almost literally lol) here- sometimes what seems like a stupid question to us is a very genuine question to the enquirer. So I do answer questions such as "Are you a goth/what is goth?" as nicely as I can. Heck, I ended up having a lovely conversation with a taxi driver about it recently. The majority of adults who ask me about it are quite surprised to learn that a 20-something is into Siouxsie Sioux etc, but once explained it sort of falls into place for them, like "Ohhhh I see now!". I even had to explain it to my grandmother recently; I'm not sure she grasped it exactly, but she seemed politely interested.

I do get some slightly insulting questions, and if I think the situation is appropriate I certainly do get snarky >:D I used to have the word "GOFF!" frequently shouted at me in the street, to which I would turn around, give a patronising little clap and say "Oh well done, have a biscuit!"

But for the most part, people who shout at you don't actually have anything witty to say to you, and I would urge everyone to completely ignore people who scream abuse at you. Mainly for the reason that if you are drawn into the slanging match, no matter what cleverly crushing line you have waiting for them on the tip of your tongue, they just keep screaming louder and louder, and you have to get louder to be heard, and the result is that you look like a screaming yob too. In honesty, I think its some sort of trigger in the back of the chavvy/yob mind that gets activated during an arguement with a more eloquent person...its as if a note pops up saying "This person will use long words to make you feel stupid! Shout at them so you don't have to hear it! LALALALA!"

When it comes to people asking questions such as "are you a satanist" etc, well I try to assess the situation. Although we all know that Satanists are no more dangerous than Christians, Muslims and Pagans (and no less for that matter), the word has very negative connotations and people are often scared of them. Sometimes a person asking you that may well just wondering if you're scary, so I try to reassure them. It happens more often to me in the states, and they tend to be reassured by the English goth wearing bunny rabbits or dressed like a doll that really, I'm not going to bite you, I'd much rather bite this delicious poptart

But I also think some people have already made up their mind about you/us goths negatively, and there's no point talking to them really. Perhaps a witty comeback might silence them, but more often than not, I tend to ignore them. Nothing I say is likely to change their minds (whereas good behaviour may stand the tiniest chance better) and they may well only be trying to talk to me to deliberately insult me and hurt my feelings.

"Why do you wear black all the time and paint your nails black? Are you a goth?"

"There's more to being goth than wearing black. I happen to be wearing black because I'm mourning the death of intelligent inquiry."

Nah, I don't really say that to people. Because the ones who are most likely to ask me why I dress in black are generally children at my library (who wouldn't even think to ask the "goth" part). In which case I would just smile and say: "I like black!"

-- Nephele

but I like spiderman...
Maybe I just don't give the question itself too much credit since I went from pagan to catholic then from catholic to pagan, then from pagan to atheist (nice jump huh? ) and now... I stend somwhere beyond atheist.

Some common questions I'm asked:

"Why do you wear so much black?"
I usually just tell them I like it.

"Why are you Goth?"
Erm... maybe because I want to be?

The questions that really annoy me are (I get asked these a lot):

"So, are you into Slipknot?"
"So you're a massive Korn fan are you?"
"Do you have all of Lamb of God's albums?"

And questions like these. Though I find them annoying, I realise most people are ignorant of what Goth is. I tend to aim just to educate them.

that would be the best answer EVER!

Okay here are some questions I have been asked and things I would have liked to have said:

Codes- S=Situation; Q=Question; IA=Imagined Answer; AA=Actual Answer

---

S: At Books-A-Million, walking through the books

Q: You look nice. Did you just get married?

IA: Yepp, and I am here at Books-A-Million getting books in case all those toys I got at the sex shop fail to make martial sex more interesting than pre-martial sex.

AA: No, I didn't.

---

S: Books-A-Million looking at Wiccan books; Snotty little pre-teen with a camera sees me and starts talking and trying to take pictures with his buddy like he's something special.

*I hear them talking about me. I hear the taking of a picture. I turn toward the boy and he hides the camrea quickly*

Me: I'm not stupid. I can and hear you.
Boy: I'm not doing anything.
Me: Then you can do nothing somewhere else.

Q: Are you some kind of gothic witchy freak person?

IA: Are you some bratty little kid with no manners?

AA: I'm not answering disrespectful questions from little bratty kids. Now stop taking pictures of me and go away.

Boy: What, I'm just curious.
Me: you're being rude and you need some manners. Where are your parents at anyway?
Boy: That's none of you business. So,

Q: Are you in some kind of magic act or something?

IA: If I were I'd have made your dumb-ass disappear.

AA: No, I'm not. Thank you so much for interrupting my day. I'm going to another isle now. If you follow or keep harassing me, I'm getting security.

---

S: St. Augustine; walking down St. George Street.

Q: Are you part of the ghost tour?

IA: Yes and for 15 bucks I'll give you a private tour of the Old Fort (What? I know enough.)

AA: No, I'm not, but that would be awesome.


---

S: General

Q: Are you a Vampire?

IA: Don't you follow the madness of modern media? I can't possibly be a vampire. Instead of being dark creatures, they sparkle now. Do I look sparkly to you?

AA: No, I'm not.

---

S: General

Q: Are you Goth?

AA: Yes, I am.

(Can't think of a good enough IA for this one yet.)

---

S: General.

Q: You're all dressed up. What's the occasion?

IA: I finally lost my sanity and decided to celebrate.

AA: I always dress like this.

---

S: General.

Q: Aren't you hot?

IA: Nope. Turns out I'm cold-blooded, I need these clothes to stay alive.

-

Q: Aren't you cold?

IA: Nope. That last pint of human blood I had in the parking lot warmed me right up.

AA: No, I'm not.

---

S: General.

Q: Why do you dress like that?

IA: Because this is the shit that was in my closet...wait? Fuck! This wasn't in my closet! How the hell... *Walks away confused and belligerent"

AA: Because I like it.

And this is all I can think of right now.

And I agree with Blackie. It's best to be nice- on the outside. Inside I have a shitload of thing I could say but never do.

Since I no longer dress the part, I NEVER get these questions. Come to think of it, I never really did back in my glory days either. People just tended to stay away from me in general, or I only hung out with other people who had similar interests so there was no need to question it.

But if anyone asked me if I was a goth, I would tell them yes, and that sacking Rome was a blast.

~spidey

Classic! I've got to use that one some day.

"Well, since you figure I'm going to hell anyway, I might as well be prepared for the heat. See you there!"

Nephele, this is my new quote of 2011! I can tell it's going to be a good year...

Why, thank you, Minnie and Midi!

-- Nephele