On another note, I did infact start my bowling league as I mentioned last entry. My first game of the season was also my highest ever ... 217. Of course, I've not come within 50 pins of it since, but c'est la vi. I didnt end up starting Karate yet tho ... due to different reasons, but still plan to. I now realise how busy I've become ...

In my week I have to fit in work, bowling, karate, running an irc network, fixing Magick II (which is very difficult right now), running goth.net, re-installing and setting up my local network, shopping (food), and a bunch of other miscellaneous things ... no wonder I've got no time and am always tired.

I'm thinking of being an online DJ more often ... I liked straming stuff and having listeners ... only problem is time, and I dont really 'mix' so much as 'queue' (not that most of the listeners mind!) ... mind you I'm not TOTALLY against buying the stuff needed to properly mix ... but thats definately a 'much later' expense. Food for thought

Short entry this time, you may go :)

On other notes, Had the phone guy in, then the DSL guy in to try and get a better net connection organized, only to find out the phone guy screwed up and I will have to start again. ARGH! I am starting to feel I'm condemned to a modem forever.

I also recently became the CEO of RelicNet for those who dont know, which means I get to re-organize a previously-popular IRC network in an effort to make it popular again, in the hope that a change of leadership will bring back the users. I dunno if that will be entirely true, but I'll give it my best shot -- incase your wondering how to get to RelicNet, open an IRC client, and type /server irc.relic.net. Or just goto the RelicNet website.

I also have now decided to get social again, and stop being a hermit trapped in my computer room. This week I will be going back to Karate, to finish my quest to 1st Dan (black belt). The dojo is located in the city, a bit of a hike I suppose, but by looking at their website, the facilities are unparalelled. I've signed up for a bowling league starting this Thursday too, which should be good -- I havnt bowled since I left Australia. And finally I've joing the NYC Goth mailing list, in a hope that I will find SOMEONE who can show me the ropes to NYC goth, because this is a big-ass city, and I dont know where to start. He'res hoping all my efforts are not in vain.

Anyway -- I hope to post a little more frequently than I have been over the last month ... heh ... lucky I didnt call this my quote of the day or something ... *grin*.

This weekend I fly to Italy, for a week of meetings, and some activities. I'm looking forward to it, however I'm looking forward to the end of it more. From there I go see my beloved for the first time in 4 weeks -- one would think after spending 5 1/2 months apart, that 4 weeks is a piece of cake ... but dont let anyone fool you, LDR's are HARD, and every MINUTE apart is hurtful to the core. It doesnt get any easier no matter how many times it happens (this is the 3rd long-term parting for us).

I've realised now how lucky I am to have friends who have their own problems. They give me something to occupy myself by helping them, and make me feel good because I have purpose, and I'm really helping them. They also in turn know what pain is, and are thus qualified to help me when I need it too. Friends with problems, especially major trauma, save so much in psychaitrist bills, that alone is a good reason to seek them out, let alone the depth of feeling you can have for eachother as friends, and sometimes partners, even if not sexually or officially. So a hint for anyone who sees someone with problems, and thinks they're so defensive that its not worth it. Take the time, peel back the layers of defence, and give up part of yourself as a sign of trust, without doubt, you'll be rewarded.

You know who I'm talking about :)

So yes, I still miss her, but life goes on. I've gotten more into what I'm doing at my job, and back into Magick in a big way, and I'm making real progress on both of those fronts too. *sigh* I've had to deal with GOTH.NET being down most of the last week due to a defective hard disk. That will have to be replaced, thank god for warrenties ...

Speaking of warrenties, in my last entry I mention I'd have to send mine in for repair. It turns out because mine is under an international extended warrenty, theres only ONE place in the USA I can send it ... Ohio. However they were nice enough to send me a special box to send it to them, and they send it back 4 days later, all fixed ... they replaced the motherboard. I'm exceedingly happy about that. I took it home, and replaced the hard disk the RIGHT way and I'm now sitting pretty with 20gb in my lappy. At least SOME things do go my way.

Now, I've godda master cooking stuff NOT in a packet, and the curious thing known as shopping ... I handled clothes washing and washing up dishes beautifully ... no problem ... uhm ... anyone got any helpful tips?

Well, I bought myself a nice new 20gb laptop hard disk, to replace the 6.4gb one I had in there. Not knowing that I could just unscrew one screw at the bottom of the machine and then pop a panel, unscrew the screw locking the hard disk in place and slide the old one out, and the new one in, I begin merrily taking it apart. I shoulda stopped when I got to the keyboard. But I didnt. I ended up dismantling it to the degree the top half was seperate from the bottom, which is no mean feat since there is a gazillion screws holding that thing together (yes, I know, should have been a sign). So I put it back together finally, having a good look around in the process, and almost panicing because I didnt quite know how the mouse and keyboard were supposed to slot back into the motherboard!. And horror of all horrors, I have a rattler! A screw somewhere inside thats not screwed anywhere. So, open it all up, again ... I did this about 4 or 5 times. Eventually, I got it all together, with no rattler, and only 1 screw left over ... it doesnt work, but its together, and has a nice shiney new 20gb hdd ... *sigh*. With a bit of luck, the guys at work know a bit more about laptop internals than I do. Heres hoping.

The moral of this story? If something has a million things trying to keep it shut, theres GOT to be a reason for it. Get a professional, pay for it to be done, or 99 out of 100 times, you'll just fuck it up. I hope this dont cost too much ...

So much I want to do with my life, and I'm procrastinating. Its the story of my life. But then, it all costs money, and thats somthing I'm not in surplus of right now. Incase your wondering what my new job is like tho, its a great work environment, and the staff here know their shit and dont care who you are, just whats in your head ... the way it should be. *sigh* almost time to go home ... sit behind my computer ... and do the exact same thing I did yesterday. I'm so boring sometimes, speaking of which, why are you still reading?

On related topics, it never ceases to amaze me how many people consider me a free programming resource. Sometimes I think I should start charging, but I suppose it is gratifying, even flattering to know I have some kind of desirable quality, even if it is just technical expertise, a learned skill. *grin* Just as long as I end up in the relevant "Thanks To" section.

I finally also have a new house, and leased car. MAN moving is expensive, especially if your moving to a new area, and/or dont have a credit rating (not a bad one, just a non-existant one). Not only will most people not look at me, but if they will, they charge obscene amounts because you have no credit, even IF you have a job. I found out the hard way westchester county is one of the most expensive areas to live, rent, etc. Plus, EVERYONE wants large sums of money up front and NOW. Not exactly very easy when you're waiting to get paid, and have limited funds until you do, and have to ration it out amongst all the different expenses you suddenly have.

The worse of all these leeches I've found seems to be US real estate agents, who unlike most sensable countries, charge the house hunter for finding them a home, rather than the house owner for finding them a tenant. Of course, they too want their money up front, and seem not really negotiable to working out a payment plan that would get them their money and give me a break. One nasty letter late, and we'll see what happens.

On another note, I recently lost not just my home page, but the service I run on account of some internet cowboys with more bandwidth than brains *sigh*. Here I was happily running a public IRC server, free, not harming anyone, when one of the admins on the network decides to leave and try to make sure the network cant go on without him, and all of a sudden my quiet server offering alot more than IRC, is taken offline for over 2 weeks. This REALLY annoys me because these internet vandals usually have no point, and cause all kinds of damage they dont even realise they're doing ... and then have the gaul to say in court 'Oh! I didnt realise that would happen!' ... and forget the fact they shouldnt be DoSing in the first place. May they all burn in whatever hell is worst for eternity ...

Other than that, my sleeping patterns are currently very screwed up, not going to bed till 7am, and when I DO go to bed about midnight and get up at 7, I get real tired in the afternoons. Like an extended jetlag. The day we got here, we slept from like midnight thru 5pm. Ugh.

Since my last posting. I finally got the GOTH.NET CD's and cleaned up all the pending accounts piling up since my stuff was all packed away. I had to spend > $100 to buy a modem to get online! First time I've paid to be online in a long time. Depressing really since I'm going high speed when I have a permanent place to live.

Also feeling kinda socially iscolated right now -- I dont know anyone here in Toronto, and aint surveyed the goth scene yet. Any would-be guides out there who read this?

New years was OK -- but alot less of an event than it was say in 1998, but then, most of the big Sydney goth clubs have closed ... I miss those clubs ... I never got to see Armoury, but Sanctuary, Shrine, even Hellrazor ... they all knew how to put on an event and make it huge ... and it always started out with a dress code.

Two days later I'm rendered possesionless by movers taking my stuff to go overseas ... I spent that entire day reading waiting for the movers to go away so I could sleep ...

And just today, I had a photo shoot with my parents, should be interesting to see how they turn out, I promice some will end up on this page. Now I'm off to a 3 year old's birthday party. It never ends ...

Today GOTH.NET finally came up, after someone first fogetting to book it in to be installed, then forgetting to install it two days later, then mistaking it for a commercial job the next day, and finally installing it the day after. All in all about 4 days outage, for a same-day job. One wonders why?

I often wonder if poeople think these things happen by themselves, that if they wait long enough, things left alone will work themselves out. This may work with sentient beings ...